First “Week” Back

I have survived my return to work after maternity leave.

My first day back was Wednesday. I got an hour of sleep before I had to get up and prepare for my day. Surprisingly I worked my full 10 hour shift without feeling tired at all. I did get very sore as the day went on.

When I got home I could barely move. I iced my right arm, and passed out on the couch. I was so sore I didn’t even want to snuggle my babies.

I got a bit more sleep Wednesday, but after waking up to get ready for work I realized I couldn’t do it. My whole body hurt. I still felt like I had shin splints this morning, but my arm was much better. I decided I would go in today. It went well. I’m doing much better today regarding my exhaustion and pain. I have only dozed off for a few moments while watching TV with my family, and I didn’t feel the need to ice my arm. My wrist has been sore, but not terribly so.

My 3 little ones have been quite snuggly since I’ve been home too. I think they missed me a little.

I’m happy I have 4 days to recover before my next shift, but Wednesday morning will come before I will be ready for it.

Here’s an updated picture of the newest addition to our family.

And one more. šŸ™‚

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30 weeks pregnant and falling

I hit the 30 week milestone today, and my deck stairs yesterday.

I am very sore and bruised from my fall. Luckily I was going down my slippery deck stairs after a rain and did not land on my very pregnant belly.

My wrists, back and bottom took the fall poorly though. I was a week out from my cortisone injections, so I am hoping the swelling and bruising of my hands/wrists doesn’t complicate my carpal tunnel recovery.

My bottom is quite sore and a little bruised. I have a lot of padding in this area, so I suppose it could have been much worse. šŸ˜‰

My back seems to be the most visibly affected from the fall. Moving has become very difficult, and uncomfortable. Having only 9 weeks or so left in my pregnancy I was already having some difficulty getting around. Here is a picture of the bruise on my back.

It is right about where an epidural would be placed, so I hope this heals before I need one. I normally have issues getting epidurals, so added pain from an injury is not something I want to deal with.

I am also dealing with some intense abdominal cramps today. I don’t seem to be contracting at all. I think they are gastrointestinal in nature.

All of these pains combined with my complaining are making myself and my family miserable.

Carpal tunnel syndrome

This week has been awful in regards to my carpal tunnel syndrome. Because I have a very repetitive job I have been dealing with CTS for years, and treating it with ibuprofen. Unfortunately during pregnancy you can’t take Ibuprofen. I haven’t worked or done much since Friday afternoon, but I am still extremely symptomatic. My hands go numb using my phone, showering, cooking… basically no matter what I do. šŸ˜¦

I wake during the night with pain and numbness. I had a hard time working this week, since I have to hold a box cutter. At some points I couldn’t feel it in my hand. I asked if there were any other light duty options for me since I am currently working with restrictions. The answer was sweeping and dusting. Holding a broom at the end of my shift instantly made my right hand go numb. I thought maybe it was because I had been working all day, but last night I swept up a mess and again instantly went numb.

I am concerned that I may not be able to work much longer. I have worn splints at night, but am still suffering. I need to work another 6-7 weeks in order to have job protection. I really wish I could just take Ibuprofen. This is my fourth pregnancy to reach this gestation, but most certainly my worst experience with carpal tunnel.

Whoopsy Ā DaisyĀ 

I think it was a bit more than a whoopsy daisy, but it could have been worse.

I had a car accident 1/12/17 around 3:45am. I was on my way to work, and the temperature was above freezing when I left. Apparently the temperatures were fluctuating as I drove. I was being cautious,  since there were patches of fog and I was concerned there may be ice too. I came to a spot in my commute where there is often a patch of ice. It was there,  and I hit it. My car fishtailed one way, then the other and eventually I spun completely around. I went off the road and my driver’s side was pinned up against a tree. I was slanted in a ditch, but thankfully the tree kept me from flipping.

My only injury that was immediately noticeable was a “burn” from the seat belt on my neck.

I called my husband first, then 911. A man in a truck stopped to ask if I was okay, and if I called the police. I told him I was about to call and that I was fine. 911 sent an officer to the scene,  and he hit the same patch of ice I did. He almost went off the road too. He didn’t take an official statement from me, since he said it was obvious what had happened. The sander/salter came by while I was still in my car. (I’m pretty sure the officer made that request.)

My insurance company was having computer issues when I called, so they weren’t able to set up a tow. The police officer took care of that, and the people who came out were great. Unfortunately they told me my car was not drivable. šŸ˜¦ I am expecting my insurance company to tell me my car is a total loss since it is a 2007. All I know right now, is that there is body damage, some being right around the front driver’s side wheel. If there is any suspension damage I know they’ll consider it totalled. 

My neck and back have been sore since a few hours after the accident. I had to work yesterday,  and the pain I had while working was pretty bad. I have a very physical job, and do a lot of lifting. It was pretty slow yesterday, so I only had to work 7 hours instead of 10. 

I have been resting, and taking ibuprofen. I’ve only used ice on the areas that are most sore a couple of times. The right side of my neck, along the back is the worst. Then I would say my lower back and hips are the next most affected areas. I know it could be much worse. Even though it was a fairly minor accident, if there had been a tree branch in that position where I hit it could have killed me. I had to drive by the scene on my way to work yesterday, and I noticed if my car had hit about a car length in a different direction I would have been in a deeper part of the ditch without a tree to catch me. If that happened I could have easily flipped over.

Right now I am driving a rental provided by my insurance company. It’s a 2017 Buick Verano. Way different than my 2007 Hyundai Elantra. It almost makes me hope my car is totalled, so we can upgrade. We were hoping to get another 2 years out of my car though. We aren’t as ready to take on a car payment as I’d like to be. We’ll work it out, and it will probably be in a new to us vehicle. No 2017, but newer than my Hyundai. 

I keep thanking God for my life, and opportunity to snuggle my family again. 

19 Years Already

It is so hard to believe that 19 years have passed since my mother died. I lost her when I was 17 years old, and she was only 38. She died from cancer. She had lung cancer, that spread quickly throughout her body. She was diagnosed in May of 1995, and was gone April 9th, 1996. She tried chemotherapy, and radiation but they did not work. She was offered some sort of experimental treatment afterward, but declined it.

I was a senior in high school when she died, and actually got the news she had passedĀ while in school one day. My Principal actually drove me home to be with my family after getting the call. My mom died at home in my living room. She had beenĀ receiving care from a home hospice program, so we had a hospital bed set up for her and she was on a morphine pump.

I remember my dad telling me to say goodbye to her, but I knew she was already gone and didn’t need to do that. It was so hard to see a woman so full of life a year ago, deteriorate into the skeleton of a woman she became. When she was aware of what was going on around her, I remember her feeling pain from even the slightest touch. I would never wish that kind of suffering upon anyone.

I felt that it was “better” for her to be gone after the suffering she had endured. I thought then, that she had gone to heaven to be with her mother who had passed before her, but now my feelings on heaven and hell have changed. I believe that we are asleep in the grave until Jesus returns. I don’t believe hell exists the way most people think of it either. I believe if we do not accept Christ’s gift of salvation that we do not go to hell for an eternity of punishment and torture. I believe that we will die a final death and perish, becoming forever separated from God.

I remember being angry that God would take my mother from me, but I don’t feel like that anymore. We live in a fallen world, and there are consequences to our actions in this life. I do not understand why some people live long full lives, and others areĀ “taken” when we feel they have so much more life to live. I have lost 3 babies in utero, that never had any chance to live. I would absolutely say they died too soon. That is only my opinion though. I do not understand His ways.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55 8-9 NIV

At this time in my life, when I lost my mother I also gained the best gift God has ever given me. My husband was just a friend of mine when my mom died, and shortly afterĀ losing her we started dating. He proposed in December of 1996, and we were married in August of 1998. I have always said that he is my soul mate, and a gift from God. My life would have been very different if I didn’t have my husband. He kept me from getting into trouble for sure. I was a weak person who easily caved into peer pressure, and IĀ didn’t have the best role models in my family toĀ set me on the right path either. Due to what I was exposed to my whole life, I thought drinking, smokingĀ and partying was the normal way to live. It hasn’t always been easy for my husband to stick it out and put up with me, but I thank God that he has.

IĀ would have loved to have had my mom with me for all the big moments in life, but that wasn’t God’s plan for me. I have had to learn things on my own that a mother would normally teach her child, and I have missed sharing experiences with her too. IĀ think not having her aroundĀ will make me appreciate the time I have with my children, and make me more intentional about the things I share with them. I am creeping up on the age my mom was when she died, and it is hard not to get nervous about the possibility of dying young too. I know I have eliminated many of my risk factors by avoiding the lifestyle choices she had made, but it’s still in the back of my mind. I want to make sure my kids have good memories of their childhood and of me, but the most important thing is to teach them to follow the narrow road.

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” Matthew 7 13-14 NIV

I think my mother would be proud of the woman I have become, but more importantly I want to please God. I know IĀ have much to let go of in this life to be truly pleasing to God, and I need to take on some things too.