Still Struggling With Doing The Right Thing

Life is hard.

It is hard to feel like you want to be one person, yet actually be someone very different. I want to be a person who doesn’t waste a minute of the short life we are given here on Earth, but what does that mean?

Does that mean I should….

-always be on the go, getting projects done

-working at a job earning lots of money as many hours as possible

-spending every waking moment entertaining/playing with/teaching my children

-keeping a clean home, and cooking spectacular meals

-shopping all the time, acquiring beautiful objects

-taking fabulous vacations and having new experiences daily

-volunteering at shelters/non-profits etc..

-reading my Bible and evangelizing

My list of possible ideas of what not wasting life means could go on and on forever. When you ask someone what it means to not waste time/life the list they come up with might be as long or simple and short. For example, it might just be -Have fun!

I think that no matter what, most people when asked about wasting time think about what they are doing for themselves, and what they may be missing out on when they feel they have wasted time. I don’t think many people, even Christians think about how they could have spent time better/wiser for God’s sake. I want to live a more meaningful, purposeful life, but yet I still get caught up in worldly obsessions. I want to have fun, relax, have “nice” things, and just be happy. My life revolves around me and my needs. I struggle with putting others ahead of myself. This includes my family for sure, but even more important than them is God. I know this truth, yet I don’t act on it nearly enough. I have been better about reading more Christian blogs, but it still is not a substitute for picking up my Bible.

Here I am wasting another day God has given me. I am failing as a wife, mother and Christian. I don’t even feel as though I have been doing much for myself yet today, so the day has truly been wasted so far. I have been awake for about 4 hours, which is a good amount of time to get things done if you are focused and motivated…. I am not. I’ve fed the baby and played with him some, I have made myself an iced coffee and bowl of cereal, I’ve read blogs in various categories from Christianity to yarn,  I’ve started a load of laundry, I’ve walked the puppy a couple of times, I’ve cleaned up 2 puppy accidents, I’ve talked briefly with my husband on the phone, I played a short game with my oldest son and I have been writing this blog. It kind of seems like I’ve been busy, but I know my time could have been spent more wisely. For starters, that laundry could be drying with another load washing. 😉 That would at least be a more efficient use of some time if I actually want to get rid of laundry mountain some time this weekend. LOL!

I have been thinking about God’s plan for my life, I need to be praying more about it. I know there is more to this life than what I am getting accomplished.

So, it has now been 5 hours since I have gotten out of bed…. another puppy accident has been cleaned up, there has been activity in the laundry area, and I had another chat with my hubby. 😉 Still feeling like a failure, but getting some stuff done.


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