When A Good Plan Goes Bad

This past Monday was my hubby’s birthday, and my oldest son and I planned to take him on a special trip Tuesday to celebrate. Of course the weather wasn’t cooperating, but we were hoping it wouldn’t get too rainy since we planned outdoor activities. The plan was for me to drive since it was a surprise outting, but since he guessed where we were going I let him do the driving. We made it to our destination, and the weather was decent for our first activity. So far so good right? Then it went all wrong fast. Hubby got a bump to his head, and I laughed it off thinking it wasn’t a big deal. The bump was harder than I thought, and since he has had a previous concussion it caused a bad headache. Then more issues came up and what was supposed to be a happy family day turned into a mess.

When parents don’t agree, or have arguments it can leave kids in an awkard position. 😦 My poor son didn’t even want to let us know he was hungry for lunch, because he knew we were in bad moods. We made it through the day, but it definitely wasn’t one any of us really want to remember. 😦

When it came to bedtime I thought I would bring up the situations that made the day fall apart, to try and discuss ways we can do better next time issues like this arise. That turned into an allnighter talking and crying. I took the next day off of work, since there was no way I could function on practically no sleep. (It would have been about an hour of sleep) We tried to basically have a do-over of our day before, with different destinations. Thankfully we had better weather too. The day had some “wrinkles”, but nothing like the day before.

Even though my husband and I have been together 19 years, we still have plenty to learn about what makes the other tick, and what ticks them off. πŸ˜‰ During our all night conversation, I confessed that lately I have just been trying to get through my days, and pretty much just check off items from my to-do list. I need to be more aware of when I get into that mode, since it only leads to me getting grumpy, and snippy. Everything starts to irritate me when I am in this mode and I miss out on so many good moments….and cause bad ones. When I get snippy, others around me tend to follow my lead. Tiny issues turn into giant blow ups. If our day hadn’t gone as bad as it did, our conversation may not have happened, and I would still be in my check it off of the list mode. I know I will be appreciating my family more for a while, but I hope I don’t back slide and slip into my rut again.

I don’t want to say that our bad day was exactly what we needed, but it did get me out of a rut and it has shown me some areas of my life that I need to focus on more. It is so hard to admit when we are wrong, or just not doing our best. I admit I make mistakes and take too much for granted. Too often I am consumed with how things affect me, or how I feel. I rarely think about how the choices I make, or things I say might make others feel.

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3 thoughts on “When A Good Plan Goes Bad

  1. It is funny how that works.. When the blow up seems way oversized compared to the negative event, chances are there’s been a build-up of other, previous, unresolved issues.

    There’s nothing like a good storm to clear out the drains. πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 2 people

    • One of the things we discussed was how we need to share if something is bothering us in the moment, and not let things build up to this level. For me it is hard to decide what is worth mentioning, and what is not. Clearly I haven’t been sharing when I should.

      Liked by 1 person

      • It’s so interesting you should say that.. when I was younger I would either share my irritations on the spot or hold onto them until they blew. Now – after 32 years of marriage- I am much more sensitive to the “right time” to share things. A few week-ends ago I was just steaming about a home project my husband was working on. I didn’t like the materials he chose..and he really hadn’t listened to me. After hours of hard work, we were stuck with the exact same problem we were trying to fix. He was sweaty and tired and I was just BUSTING to let him have it. I literally prayed for the patience to wait until the right moment…which came later that day. I was much calmer (it wasn’t after all the end of the world) and I was able to tell him that his ignoring my suggestions made me feel like I was insignificant. I also told him that I loved him and was appreciative of the work he put into the whole thing, but the results would have been better (much) had he really listened to me before he started. Timing is so important..for both people involved.

        Liked by 1 person

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