Ultrasound Update

I had my anatomy screening yesterday. It confirmed the results of our Harmony testing. We are having a girl. My husband and I really needed visual confirmation.

The technician did not see any subchorionic hemorrhage concerns, and I haven’t had any bleeding/spotting for days now. I thought those results would lead to my return to work, but I was wrong. There were no anatomy anomalies viewed, but baby girl did not cooperate much when it came to viewing her heart. The doctor was not concerned though, and we have an echo scheduled for May 8th anyway.

Back to my not returning to work… The doctor who saw me right after the ultrasound felt that I should have some restrictions due to the bleeding and my history, but we left it up to my regular ob to make the final decision. I saw her later in the day, but she hadn’t seen the ultrasound report yet. She was not comfortable with sending me back to my highly physical job with heavy lifting. She felt more comfortable restricting me to lifting no more than 20 pounds or the weight of my youngest child. (24 pounds) Her explanation was that if my placenta tore from the uterus at this gestation and I had to deliver, the baby is not viable. I had expected to try to work, and if I had more bleeding look at our options from there. I hadn’t really thought about the bleeding leading to premature delivery. She requested I take the next 3 days off to give the office time to see the report.

At this point my husband and I are much more willing to keep me out of work for the remainder of my pregnancy. My income is not worth my baby’s life. I know my doctor will request lifting restrictions if she allows me to return to work at all. I am fine with that, but my employer will most likely fight it. That would lead to my being out on a medical leave.

I may lose my position and shift, but after the baby is born I will still have a job available to me. Keeping this little girl safe is worth whatever may happen.

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Excited for an actual vacation

I have taken this past week off of work due to my pregnancy complications. It wasn’t a vacation, but I have been taking it very easy. I even managed to read a book. 🙂

Last night we had friends over for dinner and actually made reservations for a camping trip in June.

I am still waiting to have my ultrasound on Tuesday to make sure returning to work Wednesday will be safe, yet here we are putting money down on a trip I hope I will be able to take. May have been premature on our part, but I have been spotting very little over the past few days and am feeling fine. I suppose as long as I take it easy on our trip it won’t matter if I am home or in a camper…right? That is as long as my condition doesn’t worsen and lead to strict bedrest or hospital bedrest.

The husband of the couple we are camping with seems to be like me, and was thinking about things to pack last night on their drive home. The list maker in me wanted to do the same thing.

We have vacationed with the wife and her ex-husband before, but not her new husband and we’ve never camped together. They booked a tent site, and we booked a water and electric site. We don’t rough it in our family. I like to use an electric griddle to make pancakes, and I like to play games by lighting that allows you to see what you’re doing. We have actually brought a mini fridge, tv, and video games camping in the past. Our fridge has since been donated, so we’ll have to survive using coolers and ice.

I am excited to have this new experience with our friends, but super nervous about camping 7 months pregnant with a 3 year old and 1 year old. Just last night the one year old woke up every two hours screeching. My friend said her son who is almost 4 wakes up talking and screaming during the night. We might get kicked out of the campground or we’ll have to sleep in our cars to buffer the sound.

I am happy that we took the plunge and booked the trip. I am such a pessimist and would normally be too nervous making reservations knowing the multiple things that could go wrong in a high risk pregnancy.

The campground we are going to has a fantastic pool attraction for the kids, and nice playgrounds too. Hopefully the weather will cooperate. If we can’t use those amenities it will be sad.

Taking the week off of work

So, it looks like I was right about my subchorionic hemorrhage. It appears smaller than it was in February. They didn’t see any fresh/active bleeding.

I already had an ultrasound scheduled for next Tuesday, so I am signed out of work until next week’s ultrasound.

I am supposed to rest this week, and hopefully the bleeding will resolve.

My main concern is that all will be calm until I return to work, which would mean I would be taken out for the remainder of my pregnancy.

I’ll just have to see how it goes.

Still Waiting

I’m waiting to find out if the cause of my bleeding can be confirmed, and if I need to be on restricted activity.

My gut feeling is that the subchorionic hemorrhage seen on ultrasound in February is draining, but I am nervous it may have grown or is causing problems.

I am very anxious about returning to my very physical job tomorrow, since basically laying on the couch all weekend hasn’t stopped the bleeding. The bleeding is not a flow, or bright red. It’s definitely old blood coming out… still unnerving for a pregnant woman to see.

I want some answers today. This has been a stressful weekend. My obgyn is very busy today and at first offered an appointment between 3-3:45. That seemed too late for my liking. They were able to squeeze me in with the oncall doctor at 1:20.

This doesn’t really comfort me much since I really want to have an ultrasound to get a good look at what is going on. I really hope they can make that happen.

I can’t be sent home with unexplained bleeding, and normal activity unless things get worse. That’s too scary for me. I want to know that going back to my job of heavy lifting won’t lead to premature delivery. I understand there can’t be a guarantee of that, but if it looks too risky to be lifting 40-50 pound cases regularly I want to know.

Bleeding!

At 18 weeks pregnant, with a cerclage in place I am bleeding. I got up for my morning restroom visit, to discover bright red blood. It was there when I wiped, but I don’t seem to have active, heavy bleeding.

I called the oncall doctor, who said they would check for a heartbeat, but at 18 weeks they can’t do anything. I already found her heartbeat before calling, so now I am just supposed to take it easy this weekend. If my bleeding or symptoms worsen, like if I developed cramping then I need to call back to be seen at the hospital.

I was not looking forward to getting myself and 3 kids ready for a trip to the hospital this morning, but I want to be reassured that my cerclage hasn’t failed. If I should be restricting my time up on my feet I want to know that.

My 1 1/2 year old son was climbing and practically jumping on my belly this morning when he woke at 2am, and my job required and excessive amount of bending/heavy lifting yesterday. I really hope my stitch hasn’t torn. I have to be prepared for the possibility of being pulled out of work. I’d like to know if that’s where I am at before Monday.

It Was Time

Today, I decided to dig out my maternity clothes. Some of my jeans have started to become a bit uncomfortable to wear for a whole day.

My weight is actually down from my pre-pregnancy weight, but my body is still changing. At my last appointment my doctor said my uterus felt as it should for my gestation, so she wasn’t overly concerned by my weight loss. She did say that she hopes to see my weight plateau or increase by my next appointment.

I’ve been eating poorly this week, so I imagine my weight will be up. I have to be careful though since I do have gestational diabetes.

I have been struggling with both high and low blood sugars lately. The lows scare me more than the highs. I will either wake up sweaty and shaky, or it will happen in the morning while I am at work. The days it happens at work are frustrating. I have a very physical and production driven job, so it’s hard to take the time to get my blood sugar levels in check while still working. I have taken lunch breaks early to hurry and get some food to raise my sugar, but then it throws my schedule off and it seems I battle the lows all day. I try to keep something on hand that will give me a quick boost when I need it, but it slows me down and stresses me out to worry about it.

I have my anatomy screening booked, and my fetal echocardiogram too. I’m getting to the point where I am filling my spare time with appointments. It’s stressful, but worth it to make sure this baby is healthy.

Trying to get used to being pregnant with a daughter after a traumatic loss of the only daughter I knew I was pregnant with.

This title may be a bit confusing, so here is a little explanation before I get into the issues I am having….

I lost my first pregnancy shortly after our anatomy screening where we found out we were having a daughter. We both actually wanted to have a daughter and were very excited. I have lost two other pregnancies, but too early on to find out the gender of those babies. I have 3 living sons, and am pregnant again with a daughter.

Hopefully that was enough of an explanation for the title. 😉

Now, onto my issues. I find myself referring to this new baby by my first daughter’s name. We plan on giving this child her own unique name, so I don’t think that I just want to use the name we chose for our first child. I think it must be related to PTSD. I can’t explain it though. I tried to talk to my husband about what is going on in my mind, but I really can’t even pinpoint when I’m doing it. We’ve chosen a name for this baby that I am pretty confident will be the one we stick with, but I haven’t been calling her by this name. I don’t know how to just comfortably use her name, and not have her sister’s name pop into my mind.

I think my husband and I are still not 100% certain this baby is a girl until it is confirmed by ultrasound. We’ve only had the harmony blood test done at this point, which is very accurate and predicted the gender of my last two children correctly but visual confirmation will help.

This was a surprise pregnancy, though not a prevented one in any way. I think the shock of being pregnant near 40, and added shock of having a daughter after three sons is just messing with my mind. My premature delivery of my first child was very traumatic, and the gender is adding to my fear this time around. Of course I know that the gender of this child doesn’t mean I will lose her, and since I have taken the step to have a surgery to prevent premature delivery I highly doubt I would lose her in the same manner as my first child.

I just wanted to put it out there that I was struggling with this pregnancy, so that if anyone else is feeling similarly they will know they aren’t alone.

I’m hoping my husband is around the next time I have a Tiffany moment (Tiffany is my first daughter’s name), so that he and I can maybe figure out what is making me have them.

*Update: My husband shared with me recently that he had a “Tiffany moment”. He apologized for not understanding how I was having them. I feel a little less crazy now that it’s happened to him too. 😉 Just like me, her name just popped into his head as we were discussing this pregnancy.